I was working on my bike in the yard yesterday when I heard a soft sound that was kind of like “chuck, chuck, chuck”. Sort of like a clucking chicken. I looked up and saw Tzipi perched on bird bath. I thought perhaps he was making that sound to get my attention. I went over and gave him some nuts. Then he made the sound again. The female jay who I have often seen came to the yard. It turns out Tzipi was speaking to her, not to me — he was inviting her to the nut feast. But when she saw me, she flew up to the tree. When I went back to working on my bike, she came down and ate from the bird feeder. Apparently she is not keen on Tzipi’s take-nuts-from-humans routine. I’m sure I will be making attempts to woo her over now that I now she’s Tzipi’s girlfriend.
I’ve mentioned on this blog a few times feelings of general anger that I have at work. Now sometimes everyone around me is behaving like a bozo so my anger is justified but sometimes there is NOTHING HAPPENING and I still feel angry. But,hey, I’ve been chalking it up to the fact that I hate working in a dark cubicle when I could be frolicking in the sun.
Last night I was playing my guitar and was having problems with my distortion pedal AGAIN. And, yes, it is very frustrating that I don’t get to play guitar the way I want and have had a continuing saga of equipment failure/body failure (aka crippled hand). But my reaction was very bizarre. I became absolutely furious in a way I don’t think I’ve experienced in decades. I chucked the guitar on the couch, stomped out of the room, and got into my pajamas and then my bed. I was so enraged I couldn’t even look at the guitar or equipment for another second.
Now, if you search for Menopause and Anger, you’ll finder many sites that will say that the reason that anger appears at menopause is because of hormonal imbalances. But it will also say that it is more pronounced because women have a history of suppressing anger, that it comes at a time of their life when children are teenagers or leaving home, that they are people-pleasers, that they have a history of feeling guilty over anger, and that exacerbates the problem into rage. Also, that sometimes angry outburst can be a segue into honest communication with the person you are angry with.
As with most articles for women, none of this fits me. I have been just fine with my anger for the last 25 years. I have no guilt over it. My children were bunnies and piggies who died several years ago. And I don’t see how blind rage will improve my communication with my guitar.
The advice for ragers is to exercise, eat right, take flax seed oil, blah blah blah… all the things I have been doing.
Well, I just hope this won’t be a common occurrence and, if it does occur again, I direct my rage toward inanimate objects.
Listen to the nice music in this calming video:
Tzipi seems to have completely lost interest in us. Before I went away for a week I noticed he was molting and I was wondering if that was having any effect on his diminishing visits. He came by last Friday and I noticed his molt was almost over. But apparently, so are his regular visits. We didn’t see him all weekend. We have bored the poor bird out of our lives.
The upside is that we have been able to rehang out bird feeder and now have the usual array of house finches, red-breasted nuthatches, juncos, towhees, and titmice visiting us, along with other scrub jays and the occasional stellar jay. And, as always, the hummingbirds.
I do hope we will continue to see Tzipi from time to time.
I saw this article yesterday at my acupuncturist’s office (The Amazing Dr. Chung!) reiterating that corvids are smarter than dogs and cats.
As I was writing this I thought about Heckle and Jeckle, who I thought were crows until a moment ago. Probably because I was too young to read when I watched these cartoons. Apparently they are magpies. In any case, the first nightmare I remember having was about them. If you watch this video (I dare you!)I think the creepiness is apparent as they outsmart a cat. I can’t believe this used to be suitable children’s entertainment.