I’m visiting E in Minnesota. Yesterday we drove an hour and a quarter to a soccer game T was playing in. This game was part of the state finals. T’s team is doing very well and actually has a chance of being state champions.

The drive out through the countryside of Minnesota was such a change to our little peace of paradise in the Bay Area. Mostly flat, it was real Midwest farm country. I saw millions of stalks of corn, field after field after endless field with an occasional farmhouse or agricultural equipment supply company. We went through a small town that had some very wonderful large houses. Why did this town exist, out here amidst these farms? How did the people have enough wealth to built these homes? No one knew.

As you know, I couldn’t give a shit about soccer or any sport but I am interested in watching T and J play. They are both excellent athletes. This particular game, played while the sun slowly, slowly set was quite a spectacular one for T, who is a goalie. The other team had a very good offense and shot many goals. T managed to block almost all of them with a skill that was really stunning. Clearly his team would have lost if he wasn’t their goalie and everyone knew it. At one point he jumped so high I exclaimed, “God DAMN!”

I wonder what is like to be 17 years old and feel like a rockstar? I wonder how they affects your life? I suppose it depends on the successes you experience in the years to come. It must be a particularly glorious feeling though.

Then we drove back as the twilight changed into night. I could no longer see the cornfields but could dimly see the woods and some meadow. Unlike our Northern California landscape that make me feel like lying down on the grass and living there, these scenes did not invoke a desire for the wild in me. They seemed lonely. And somehow I could feel that the ocean was very far away.

E had decided that she is going to play hookey tomorrow so I supposed this week will be a real vacation as there will be minimal productivity. As I lay dozing on the beach yesterday there was part of me that thought about all I could be accomplishing, art-wise, if I had stayed home instead. Then I thought, what the fuck, and we got ice cream cones.